July 18, 2004
SEX
it's worth reading. i swear.
sex clouds one's vision, confuses love
sex. now that i've got your attention, let me tell you why i think you shouln't be having it. that's right. you heard me. i said you shouldn't be having sex.
deleted paragraphs...
sure, i could try to convince you that the threat of disease is the best reason not to have sex. it's certainly a valid reason, but the better reason would be not having sex creates the best possible circumstances for dating and making decisions about marriage.
ok, let's go over the basics.
we all want to be happy. i think we can agree on that. one of the keys to happiness is freedom -- freedom to make choices and change one's mind. chastity, that is nt having sex until one's married, provides such a freedom. see, i'm not saying sex is bad or wrong or dirty. infact, sex is good. so good, it's sacred. so good, it belongs within the context of marriage. the thing about sex is this: even though the act itself is temporary, the consequences are permanent. sex makes babies and bonding. i assume you already know about the birds and the bees, but perhaps you've never heard of oxytocin.
oxytocin is a hormone the brain produces during sexual activity. this hormone can also be found in women during childbirth and breastfeeding. it is the bonding hormone. it makes people unexplainably attached to one another. despite one's best efforts, this attachment can't be avoided. it is a function of the brain. it happens without your consent. it is meant to last forever. it explains many of the stupid things people do when they're sexually involved with the person they're dating.
i've witnessed the insane effects of this hormone. i have seen perfectly rational, inteligent women convince themselves that the man who refuses to commit, continues to cheat or generally treats them badly is actually madly in love with them and just doesn't know it. here's a clue: regardless of whether a man says he is in love, if he is guilty of the above behavior, he is not worth keeping around. he has no idea what love actually is. (guys, the same goes for girls.)
unfortunately, bonding before marriage messes up even the best relationships. because sec blurs one's emotional vision, a person can unknowingly make compromised decisions. at the time, it may seem incredibly romantic that your boyfriend or girlfriend want to move across the country with you. a year later, you both might be wondering if the same decision would have been made had you not been sexually attached. seeing as one inevitably becomes attached to the person of his or her affection, a person's feelings do not need to be complicated by sexual bonding.
in a healthy dating relationship. one would be able to pack up his or her heart and move on without causing too much chaos. relationships of those who are sexually involved rarely end as easily. instead, they usually end with much unnecessary heartache.
life is hard enough. my advice: be happy, live chastely.
sex. now that i've got your attention, let me tell you why i think you shouln't be having it. that's right. you heard me. i said you shouldn't be having sex.
sure, i could try to convince you that the threat of disease is the best reason not to have sex. it's certainly a valid reason, but the better reason would be not having sex creates the best possible circumstances for dating and making decisions about marriage.
ok, let's go over the basics.
we all want to be happy. i think we can agree on that. one of the keys to happiness is freedom -- freedom to make choices and change one's mind. chastity, that is nt having sex until one's married, provides such a freedom. see, i'm not saying sex is bad or wrong or dirty. infact, sex is good. so good, it's sacred. so good, it belongs within the context of marriage. the thing about sex is this: even though the act itself is temporary, the consequences are permanent. sex makes babies and bonding. i assume you already know about the birds and the bees, but perhaps you've never heard of oxytocin.
oxytocin is a hormone the brain produces during sexual activity. this hormone can also be found in women during childbirth and breastfeeding. it is the bonding hormone. it makes people unexplainably attached to one another. despite one's best efforts, this attachment can't be avoided. it is a function of the brain. it happens without your consent. it is meant to last forever. it explains many of the stupid things people do when they're sexually involved with the person they're dating.
i've witnessed the insane effects of this hormone. i have seen perfectly rational, inteligent women convince themselves that the man who refuses to commit, continues to cheat or generally treats them badly is actually madly in love with them and just doesn't know it. here's a clue: regardless of whether a man says he is in love, if he is guilty of the above behavior, he is not worth keeping around. he has no idea what love actually is. (guys, the same goes for girls.)
unfortunately, bonding before marriage messes up even the best relationships. because sec blurs one's emotional vision, a person can unknowingly make compromised decisions. at the time, it may seem incredibly romantic that your boyfriend or girlfriend want to move across the country with you. a year later, you both might be wondering if the same decision would have been made had you not been sexually attached. seeing as one inevitably becomes attached to the person of his or her affection, a person's feelings do not need to be complicated by sexual bonding.
in a healthy dating relationship. one would be able to pack up his or her heart and move on without causing too much chaos. relationships of those who are sexually involved rarely end as easily. instead, they usually end with much unnecessary heartache.
life is hard enough. my advice: be happy, live chastely.